Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
