If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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