How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
