I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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