yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
