Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize