Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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