do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
