it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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