Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
