it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
did i walk over a car last night?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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