I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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