After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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