This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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