Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
