woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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