If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
