and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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