No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
