We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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