i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
