u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
