my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize