What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
