Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize