She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize