so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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