Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
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so let's talk penis.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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