i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
