i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
