his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize