Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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