She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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