Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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