the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
