I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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