He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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