I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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