Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I faked an abortion last night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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