margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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