She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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