**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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