I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
my poor anus
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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