either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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