I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
