Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
farters have to be the big spoon...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize