Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
