He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
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