You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
