found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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