You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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