What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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