dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
