I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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