I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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