Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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