I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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